Takeaways from our powerful workshop led by Merity coach Melissa Smith. Your resilience toolkit!
Personal resilience gives you a performance edge. Use this guide to stay adaptive, steady, and well.
ADAPTABILITY
• Purpose. Shift from threat mode to learn mode. When something goes wrong, pause. Ask what the situation is teaching you and one small thing to try next.
• Simple reframe. Say or write, “This setback is data. What worked. What failed. What I will try tomorrow.” Add one change you will make in the next 24 hours.
• Ten-minute after-action. Right after a meeting or milestone, take ten minutes. Note what happened, why it happened, what to keep, what to change, and who owns the next step by name. Put that next step on the calendar with a date.
• Premortem before big work. List the top three ways this plan might fail. For each risk, add one prevention and one contingency. Share the list with the team.
• Run small tests. Change one variable for one week. Measure one outcome that matters. Keep what improves the result. Stop what does not. Example. Try a 30-minute standup instead of a 60-minute status meeting and track decision time and action items closed.
• Signals to watch. More rework. Slower decisions. Extra escalations. Treat these as prompts to adjust plans or resources, not as personal failures.
• Metrics. Note the time from issue to decision. Count the number of small experiments per quarter. Percent of projects with a premortem. Percent of experiments that become permanent. Days from decision to implementation.
EMOTIONAL REGULATION
• Name it. Put a plain label on the feeling. “I feel irritated.” “I feel anxious.” Naming creates space to choose a response.
• Box breathing. Inhale 4. Hold 4. Exhale 4. Hold 4. Do four cycles before tough calls or when tension spikes. Most people feel calmer within one minute.
• Grounding. Use 5-4-3-2-1. Notice five things you see, four you feel, three you hear, two you smell, one you taste. This brings attention back to the present.
• Reappraisal. Ask what else might be true. Write a calmer story that still fits the facts. Example. “The client sounded short. They might be under pressure today.”
• Trigger log. On your phone, jot time, context, body cues, what you did, and what followed. Review weekly. Pick one trigger and plan a better response to try next time.
• Meeting script. Give yourself space. “I need one minute to think.” Sip water. Breathe. Then respond. If emotions run high, schedule a follow-up with a clear time.
• Boundaries. Do not send or answer heated emails at night. Sleep on it. Draft a calm reply in the morning or call instead. Make this a standing rule.
• Metrics. Tally the minutes to return to calm. Count the number of reactive emails per week. Number of “regret” moments after meetings. Look for trends, not perfection.
RECOVERY HABITS
• Sleep. Aim for 7 to 8 hours on a steady schedule. Same bedtime and wake time all week. Stop caffeine after 2 p.m. Dim screens one hour before bed. Keep the room cool and dark. If you wake at night, use one breathing cycle rather than reaching for the phone.
• Nutrition. Build meals around protein, vegetables, and fiber. Keep a water bottle at your desk and finish it twice a day. Plan simple snacks like yogurt, nuts, or fruit. Keep alcohol light on work nights.
• Exercise. Target 150 minutes of moderate activity each week or 75 minutes of vigorous activity. Add two strength sessions. On busy days, use movement snacks. Two to three minutes of stairs, squats, or brisk walks at the top of each hour.
• Micro-breaks. Step away from screens for five minutes every 90 minutes. For eyes, try 20-20-20. Every 20 minutes, look 20 feet away for 20 seconds. Step outside for light when possible.
• Relationships. Schedule one meaningful check-in with a friend, mentor, or family member each week. At work, send specific thanks to a team member every Friday. Recognition builds connection and buffers stress.
• Digital reset. Use do-not-disturb blocks. Batch notifications and email checks at set times. Keep phones out of the bedroom.
• Personal rituals. Morning. Spend five minutes to set top outcomes for the day and block the first focus window. Evening. Write a short shutdown note with tomorrow’s first task and one win from today. This closes the loop and reduces rumination.
• Metrics. Observe average sleep hours and consistency. Log weekly exercise minutes and strength sessions. Number of genuine connections made. Rate start-of-day and end-of-day energy from 1 to 5 to spot patterns.
SEVEN-DAY STARTER PLAN
- Write one reframe line for setbacks and place it where you can see it.
- Use box breathing before a high-stakes meeting. Set a one-minute reminder five minutes prior.
- Protect one 90-minute focus block. Put it on the calendar. Close inbox and chat during that window.
- Walk or stretch for two minutes at the top of three hours. Set silent alarms.
- Keep the same lights-out time every night. Track sleep for seven days. Adjust evening habits to hit your target.
- End the day with a two-minute shutdown. Note what you finished, the first task for tomorrow, and one thing you are grateful for.
- On day seven, review your metrics. Keep what worked. Adjust one thing for next week.